unbelieveable....

i have an amazing God experience to share. so...man. where to start...? well... this morning, after getting no sleep the night before and being in a pretty grumpy mood, i left for work. on the way to work i had to stop at my dad's doctor's office to pick up a prescription for him. i pulled in to the parking lot and parked my car. now, as i was driving i was listening to an amaaazing CD by the band tenth avenue north (if you havent heard of them you're really missing out!). i'm still singing along as i turn off my car and as i glance to my left i see a lady sitting in the car next to me....and she's crying. we make eye contact and she gives a feeble attempt at a smile. i give her a sympathetc smile back....right away feeling a slight twinge to go talk to her or something. i ignore it and brush it off because that is WAAY out of my comfort zone. i'm talkin like... no way would that ever happen. nuh-uh. so.... i walk away and into the building where the doctor's office is....and the entire way to the office all i can think about is that lady. the look on her face...like she just really needed someone. daaang it. at this point, honestly, i'm thinking pretty selfishly. i'm thinking "ok, if she's gone when i get back i dont have to talk to her. not that i really would. but i wont have to deal with the guilt of walking by her twice and not doing anything...." i go into the office and pick up the prescription. i walk out and step onto the elevator having this interal battle with God. i'm telling Him, "ok...no way! i have to start out with something easy! i cant do this. you cant make me. i'm not. no. not happening" the entire time knowing that... yes...He can make me. as i'm leaving...i'm dreading going back to my car....because i know in my heart that poor lady is still going to be sitting in her car....crying...alone. crap. i walk out into the parking lot, and just as i thought, i see her car still parked next to mine. i start breathing harder and asking God to not put this on my heart...because i dont know what i'm doing. i never even pray out loud in front of ANYONE... now i'm feeling this conviction to go pray over a lady i dont even know. a lady sitting in her car in a parking lot! oh my gosh. well...i slow as i approach her car...we make eye contact and do those half hearted smiles....and i walk past. i unlock my car, being just as stuborn as i can be...convincing myself that i cannot do what He is asking me to do. as i climb into my car and set my purse down i realize that my heart is absoluelty POUNDING in my chest. i can hear it! and i'm shaking. and i'm breathing hard. and i realize at that point that i'm crazy for thinking that this is about me. this is not about me not feeling comfortable. this about God knowing that this lady needs something....needs someone to reach out and let her know He's there...and i am the one thats going to do it. i notice that my left foot is still planted firmly on the ground outside my car. i'm not leaving... not until i do this.

i reach over and pull out an "Amplified" flyer from my purse (even though this lady is definitely not in that age group) and stick it in the pocket of my scrubs. i close my eyes for just a second to try to catch my breath. then i step out of my car and close the door. "no way is this really happening...." but it was. i walk to her side the car. she looks up and me and i gesture to her to open the door. she does. i tell her in a slightly shaky voice that i've never done this before, but i saw that she was upset when i first pulled up and felt very convicted to come speak to her. i then asked her if i could pray for her. she nodded and said yes. i bent down and put my arm around her and asked her her name. and this point she started sobbing...and finally got out "alana..." so i closed my eyes and prayed for her just asking God to comfort her in her time of need. when i finished i stood up told her that i hoped she was ok. she told me tthat she would be alright. then i handed her the "amplified" postcard...explaining that it was for my church's college age group, but that there was a map to the church on the back if she wanted to come by. the mumbled a thank you...still very teary eyed. i stood up and closed the car door. i got back in my car to leave. as i glanced back at her one more time i realized that she was sitting in her car staring that card. i have no idea what was running through her mind... but i hope and pray that God touched her heart.

as i was pulling away i realized i probably should've given her my phone number or even just my name... but i didnt. maybe it was supposed to be that way. i may never see her again...but i'll never forget. that was the very first time i've ever listened to the convictions God has placed on my heart that pull me out of my comfort zone. and that was WAY out of my comfort zone. but i trusted Him and i did it. and wow. i can't explain that high. i dont remember the last time i was so excited about something. i drove away and listened to the rest of the song that was on....and then i couldnt resist. i called lisa...woke her up and 8:45 AM (which i'm sure she really appreciated...lol)... and told her the story. and i wanted to share it with everyone! its just such an exciting thing. i really hope everyone gets an opportunity to experience something like that. that was the first time God's ever pulled me THAT hard to do something that out of the ordinary for me and i listened. and it feels so...indescribable.

anyway...thats my story. i hope it gives someone else out there the faith to do what He asks...even if you don't want to. :)